Why Does Homework Cause So Much Grief?
By Susan Kruger

Does homework cause tension in your house? Is the sense of frustration becoming too much to take? If so, you are not alone. Everyday, I receive calls and emails from parents who are fed up with the homework battles. Most parents wonder with exasperation, ?œWhy does homework cause such a major problem!???In order to answer that question, it is important to consider many factors.

Homework is More than Just Homework

Homework represents more than just a set of assignments that your child has to complete each night, it is an exercise in developing responsibility and problem-solving skills. Think about the ?œhomework??you have as an adult: mail to manage, bills to pay, budgets to keep, groceries to buy, school papers to organize, meals to plan and prepare, etc. Think about the skills you need to use to do each of these tasks: reading, planning, organizing, calculating, and filing are just a few. When did you first practice each of these skills? For most people, you can trace your skill development back to homework.

Homework also represents a child?™s first significant opportunity to have control. One day, when my son was 18-months old, the two of us were dining with several relatives. As I was cleaning him up after a messy lunch, he was much more interested in entertaining his cousins and not in cooperating with me. While I kept a straight face and did not let his antics produce a reaction from me, he still managed to push my buttons. I finally cleaned him up and sighed in frustration, ?œHow does he know how to get to me!???/P>

My ever-observant and very wise cousin pointed out, ?œFor as significant as he is in your life, you are 100 times more significant in his. You have other responsibilities to fill your days, but his only responsibility is to study and imitate you. In this process, he quickly learns how to test you.??Hmmmm. Good point.

From the day your child is born, his objective is to grow and become more and more independent of you. Every parent wants their children to grow up to be happy, successful, well-adjusted adults, yet most of us do not want to ?œlet go.??Children who are clamoring for independence, however, quickly learn that their parents place a lot of value on homework and homework is something that they have control over.