Many children quickly learn that homework is their bargaining chip and they will use it to ?œact out??if there are other, seemingly unrelated things that are bothering them. Of course, most children are not consciously aware of this thought pattern. They just know that they want some control and homework is a significant way to get it; ?œI don?™t have to do my math homework tonight. You can?™t make me!??or ?œWhy do we have homework, anyway? It?™s pointless! I don?™t want to do it!??Sound familiar?

How Do I Overcome this ?˜Control??Issue?

The best way to overcome the ?˜control??issue is to give your child some control. Now, I don?™t mean that you should let them run the house and deal with homework as they please, but give them control at appropriate times, in appropriate ways, and you will notice that homework battles will fizzle down. For example, if you are trying to decide what to make for dinner, ask your daughter, ?œWould you like pot roast or spaghetti for dinner???Then, make whichever one she chooses. By giving her two options, you have ensured that she will select something appropriate and by acting upon her choice, you are communicating to her that her opinion matters and she does have some control.

Give your children lots of choices??Involve them in the process when you select a menu for the week and create a grocery list. Let them choose which television program to watch each evening. (If you have more than one child, have them take turns.) Let them decide where to go for dinner and what they want to wear to school. If your child is resistant to wearing a jacket, for example, say to her ?œJeannie, it is cold outside and you need to wear a jacket. Would you like to wear this one or this one???This simple concept of giving choices can prevent power struggles and can be used with children of all ages; babies to young adults.